Let's start at the top - Hair

Look men, hair has always been something that has been either not given the proper consideration or WAY overdone. You hair says a lot about you and is one of the things that people notice first about you. A true man puts thought in to every aspect of his look. Why wouldn't you think about what your hair is saying about you?

First aspect of your hair is length. Let's start with a disclaimer that balding men are not considered in this discussion. We will get to you guys later. There are a lot of opinions about hair length. After all we are not all in the Marines so "high and tight" is not a hair style. Conversely, there are some men that choose long hair. If you are not a hippy living in Boulder, CO or character in a Daniele Steele romance novel, you should probably reconsider the long lox. I think a good rule of thumb for hair length is that if you have a full head of hair you should not show your scalp through your hair and it should not be so long that people cannot see your eyes and ears. Inside of of those limits there is a lot of room to fit your hair length to the hair style you choose. So what about those styles??

The style of a man's hair is probably the most difficult part of the equation. With "barbers" going the way of fedoras, pipes, and smoking jackets it is hard for men to find a place and a person to give them a suitable manly hairstyle. You cannot leave your hair style to the "stylists" in today's world. Do you really want the "i just rubbed a balloon on my head" look that the typical homosexual male stylist is sporting in the salon? Do you want the same woman that charged your wife $150 to make her hair 10 different colors and 6 different lengths to choose what your hair looks like? So, here is my advice. Take control of your hair and tell him/her what you want. You are a man and you are NEVER going to be able to explain the hairstyle you want to a hair stylists. A man's hair vocabulary consists of "parted", "goes this way", and "combed." Those words will never get you what you want. So take a picture with you or look through those books that the shop has in their waiting area while you wait for your stylist to put the woman she has been working on for three hours under the big blower hood thing and point to it and just say "this is what I want."

Some rules to follow about what NOT to do with a hairstyle would be helpful to most men. First, hairstyles that look wet are for mobsters from the 1960's and Gordon Gekko. You are not either one of those so don't even try it. Second, glue is for children to make glitter stick to paper NOT for hair. If a style requires glue, you probably watch way too much of "The Bachelor" and that is for a whole different blog post. Styles requiring gel, hairsprays and hair dryers are fine as long as they do not look like you used half a container of either of the first two. Most importantly if your hair stylist at ANY time uses foil, rollers, or the blow dryer hood thing, GET UP AND WALK AWAY.

Last let's talk about caring for your hair. The most important rule that applies here is that you should under no cicumstance ever require more than two bottles of anything for your hair in the shower. (Yes shower, not bath. The only bath that is acceptable for a man is one that has a naked woman in it with him.) If your hair is so bad that it requires more than shampoo and conditioner, you don't need a hair stylist, you need a doctor. Your hair care products should never cost more that what you spent on lunch last Wednesday with your buddies. Contrary to what you may have heard from your hair stylist, the same soap that you used to wash your pits can be used on your hair. Your hair just lived the same day that your skin did. So if it is good enough for your skin, it will work fine on your hair. Styling products following a "rule of one." One product to style your hair and one product ONLY. You are not Leah Thompson in Howard The Duck so you don't need to use more than one product to style your hair. Use this single product conservatively. You should never spend more than 10 minutes for hair care in a day. This includes washing AND styling.

As promised early we will spend just a few moments helping the balding men out there. The most important thing for balding men to remember is that you will never find a hairstyle that makes you look like you are not balding. No, I am sorry you will NEVER find a hairstyle that makes you look like you are not balding. That deserved repeating. It is okay to be a balding man. Some of the great iconic men in history were balding and embraced it(Sean Connery, Kareem Abdul Jabar, Vince Lombardi). The rule with balding men is the shorter the better. Long and balding is never a good combination. This is the only situation where the "buzz cut" and the "razor close" styles are acceptable. Turn being a balding man into an advantage and take on a distinguished gentleman style with your hair. Also, being balding is an advantage because you can wear hats and take them off when you enter a building (another lost courtesy of men) and not have hat hair.

So men should put some thought in to their hair, but should not look like they worry about their hair. Choose your style, show it to the hair stylist, and don't do too much with your hair. The lost art of being a man starts with your hair.