Oh yes gentleman. It is the post you have wondered whether it would be written or not. It is that time of year that we men just do not understand. I do not know that I understand it myself that well, but I think I am on the path to enlightenment... a long.... painful..... arduous........tormenting......... wonderful path.
It's almost VALENTINES DAY!!! You see the emotion I just showed there? That was lesson one. There are three things that you need to remember in order to have a great Valentine's Day with your special lady. The three things are....
First, this holiday is not about you and it is only half about her. This holiday is an opportunity for you to show her how much you love her and how important she is to you, but most importantly it is so that all her girlfriends, female co-workers, women acquaintances, and ladies who are within viewing distance know this also. She needs this VERY VERY much in her life and this makes her VERY VERY happy. This is the day you don't just tell her how you feel about her. You need - no should- want to tell everyone else how lucky you are to have a woman that will put up with your manly stupidity. Have flowers delivered to her work, not the house. Paint her name on a water tower (for those of you in Arkansas). So pound your chest and make sure every other alpha-male knows that "this is MY lady and will be forever. Too bad for you." Remember this in the other two things....
Second thing about this holiday is the thing that every man dreads..... The gift. Let's start here. If you do not know what to get your wife, you haven't been paying attention. She has been telling you since she woke up hung over next to your ugly ass New Years Day. Go back in your mind and try to recall conversations that include the words "oh I need that" or "don't you think that is perfect." They say these words to you all the time and you let them go in one ear and out the other adding them to the long long long long list of things she says that you pay no attention to and dismissed as fanciful ramblings of a mad woman. There was a reason they were telling you this, and that is reason is V-Day. It does not have to be expensive. How much you spend is a personal thing between you and your partner. Don't get me wrong, they would only be mad at you for buying diamond earrings for about as long as it takes for her to say "take out the trash." IF you are thinking about the sexy lingerie it is ONLY acceptable with another gift that is SPECTACULAR. So the first gift should be good enough to be a reason for her to want to actually wear the gawd-awful piece of trash you ordered from Fredericks of Hollywood. But the good thing about the two present approach is that is says to her that you were listening, recognized her desires, and you still have the desire for her too. The first present should be given to her in as public a place as possible. (remember the first thing ....) The second present, and let's face it, it is really for you, should be done in private. I know you would think that this is obvious, but we men can be dense at times. Maybe replace that ratty old pajama set in the drawer with your second gift. ;)
The third and the last thing. GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS and get her out someplace or at the very very least put some effort in to a romantic evening at home. The dinner at home thing is something I do not recommend, but it is at least you putting out some effort. Remember the first thing? By this time, two days before V-Day, you should already have a plan for evening activities. Get out there and dine with her, dance with her, and put on that pink shirt you have in the back of the closet that she bought for you that you "NEVER wear". (those words sound familiar???hmmmmm???) You have one, every man who is married does, wear it proudly and realize that every other man you come across today will understand why you are wearing it. Oh we are still going to give you crap about it, but so what.
Gentleman, I have a wonderful wife who is the rock in my life. She is better than me at SO MANY things, and she makes me a better man. I have no idea what I would do if I didn't have her in my life, it is a scary thought that I don't even want to think about. I love her with all my heart, respect her with all my honor, and try every day to live up to the man she deserves. You will never be lucky enough to have such an amazing, strong, beautiful woman in your life because my wife is one of a kind. But if you have a woman that is close to her, then make Valentine's Day very special for her. To all the couples in the world, may you always celebrate this day with love.
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